I'll be honest, I've been really struggling with writing this post. There is a lot weighing on my heart and in my mind regarding this, and I haven't known if and how to put it into words. We are still learning, but here is where we are.
Fact time!
- International adoption is on the decline.
In 2004 there were ~23,000 intercountry adoptions.
In 2009: ~12,700.
In 2014: ~6,400.
The first resource I've left at the bottom of this post is a really useful tool to get a picture of the trends across years and countries. - UNICEF estimates that there are upwards of 132 million orphans worldwide.
(Orphan defined as a child who has lost one or both parents.) - The average cost of an international adoption is $28,000.
This is hugely prohibitive for many interested individuals and couples. - The average length of time to bring a child home through international adoption is 33 months. Yes, nearly three years. This is extremely frustrating for a parent who just desperately wants their child home with them.
- Many countries that permit intercountry adoptions have their own process, guidelines, and expectations. These differences greatly impact eligibility of individuals/couples, timing, cost, what types of children are available, etc. I want to spend time talking about the Hague Convention, which has created some consistency in intercountry adoption procedures, but it is complex, and I think I'll save it for another post.
Monetary Cost
Clearly, intercountry adoption is expensive. For us, this is scary. We are grateful to have been raised with a good understanding of what it means to save, invest, and spend wisely. But, no, we don't have $30k just lying around.
The costs are myriad:
-agency fees (and don't get me wrong, we certainly want to pay experts who know this process inside out)
-homestudy fees
-fees associated with the country (to the government, donations to orphanages, etc.)
-travel fees
-visa/passport costs
-post-placement support (each country has a requirement around post-adoption check-ins)
-unknowns (largely associated with medical care, dental care, counseling, etc.)
As we began talking about adopting, we also began looking at how we could cut back on frivolous costs and set money aside.
In the past, we've used our tax return to take a vacation every year. We skipped it last year, and will set this year's return aside as well. We're learning about the adoption tax credit (which is not a refundable credit, sadly), and how to adjust our current taxation to best take advantage of this. We've cut our cable TV (healthy for our brains and our wallet, really). We're discussing E's current daycare (one of our highest recurring bills, currently) and looking at potentially moving to a more affordable location.
In addition to this, I am incredibly grateful to work for a company that offers a hefty grant towards our adoption fees--potentially covering about 1/3 to 1/4 of the cost, and also providing time off when our child comes home.
Our agency, WACAP, also offers resources for us to look into fundraising and grant requests.
However, even with all of this, we will have to make some decisions about our savings, our stock investments, and the potential for a loan.
Emotional Cost
This area is...sticky. Now, I'm not known to shy away from sharing my opinion on sticky topics (I can almost hear Justin's eyes rolling at that statement, hehe. love you babe!). However, I say this because the emotional challenges, for us and for our child, are the areas that we have probably spent the most time talking about, reading about, and wrestling with recently.
One of the reasons for this is because intercountry adoption will also mean, for us, transracial adoption. This is not true for everyone, but the countries we are looking at will not only be culturally different, but racially different. Justin and I recognize that we need to be extremely thoughtful about this decision, and that our learning about this will never be finished, will not be easy, and cannot be done on our own. There will be things in our child's life that we will never experience. We need to figure out, the best that we can, how to support our child.
As I'm writing this section, I'm realizing that I think this conversation deserves its own post, so that I can spend some quality time talking about it. If you'd like to talk about it with me before I do that, though, please do reach out.
Time
As I mentioned in the list of facts above, intercountry adoption is not quick. And, in most cases, the timing to receive a referral (our agency saying "We think we've found your child...is this them?") until "gotcha day" (when we finally "get" our child and bring them home) can vary wildly.
Adopting through a country which has signed the Hague convention is complex and time-consuming (includes required documentation, training, government decisions, etc.) Hague countries often require at least two trips: an initial "bonding" trip to meet your child and spend time in-country bonding with them, and a second to pick them up. The length between the trips is not short, either. The timing between the bonding trip and pick-up in Haiti, for instance, averages around 9 months. Can you imagine meeting your child, and then not getting to bring them home for that long? This is painful, and a potential for our adoption.
China, however, which is a Hague country, (edited for accuracy, 2/8/16) is known to be a fairly well-oiled machine, with a typical timeline of around 12-18 months, and doesn't require two trips. This is fast.
Timelines to adopt from non-Hague countries also varies wildly, based on the countries specifications. Moral of the story...it's not fast and requires patience.
Timing can also differ based on the child being adopted--sometimes a referral is completed more quickly if the child is a "waiting child" (typically an older child, a child with special needs, or a child who is part of a sibling group).
Available Children
The reasons that children outside of the United States are available for adoption are heart-wrenching.
Timing can also differ based on the child being adopted--sometimes a referral is completed more quickly if the child is a "waiting child" (typically an older child, a child with special needs, or a child who is part of a sibling group).
Available Children
The reasons that children outside of the United States are available for adoption are heart-wrenching.
It is estimated that over 17 million children have been orphaned because their parents have died from HIV/AIDS. Poverty in developing countries is so persistent that parents give up their children because they believe that they cannot care for them, or a new child. Wars in and amongst countries contribute to the orphan crisis. This has honestly played a large part in why I have felt called to international adoption.
Many people also choose intercountry adoption because they are hoping to adopt a younger child. This is a factor for us--we are not looking to adopt an infant, which is honestly not very likely anyway, as it takes time for a child to arrive at an orphanage or other care and then to become available to adopt outside of the country. Our ideal vision would be for our child to be able to come home at around 12-18 months old. A child's first years of life are incredibly formative and can't be replicated, and we'd like the chance to bond and impress upon our child at a younger age.
The age and gender of children available can also vary, and, similar to domestic adoption, the more finite our hopes, the longer it may take to find our child. The only children available for intercountry adoption from China, for instance, are children with special needs, as "healthy children" are essentially only available for intracountry adoption. As part of our homestudy process, we are working on decisions of what we believe that our child will "look like" (country of origin, gender, age, health, etc.), and aren't entirely prepared to share those specifics quite yet.
And again, I've found myself at the end of a marathon writing session (thank you E, for taking such a long nap, and giving me this reflective time!) I hope you found this informative or interesting, in some way.
As always, please leave questions or thoughts!
Cheers and blessings--J & J
Bonus!
This Intercountry Adoption A-Z PDF is a great, simply written overview of the entire international adoption process!
Resources of note:
https://travel.state.gov/content/adoptionsabroad/en/about-us/statistics.html
https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubpdfs/s_costs.pdf (2011, but still fairly in line with other estimates)
https://travel.state.gov/content/adoptionsabroad/en.html
Many people also choose intercountry adoption because they are hoping to adopt a younger child. This is a factor for us--we are not looking to adopt an infant, which is honestly not very likely anyway, as it takes time for a child to arrive at an orphanage or other care and then to become available to adopt outside of the country. Our ideal vision would be for our child to be able to come home at around 12-18 months old. A child's first years of life are incredibly formative and can't be replicated, and we'd like the chance to bond and impress upon our child at a younger age.
The age and gender of children available can also vary, and, similar to domestic adoption, the more finite our hopes, the longer it may take to find our child. The only children available for intercountry adoption from China, for instance, are children with special needs, as "healthy children" are essentially only available for intracountry adoption. As part of our homestudy process, we are working on decisions of what we believe that our child will "look like" (country of origin, gender, age, health, etc.), and aren't entirely prepared to share those specifics quite yet.
And again, I've found myself at the end of a marathon writing session (thank you E, for taking such a long nap, and giving me this reflective time!) I hope you found this informative or interesting, in some way.
As always, please leave questions or thoughts!
Cheers and blessings--J & J
Bonus!
This Intercountry Adoption A-Z PDF is a great, simply written overview of the entire international adoption process!
Resources of note:
https://travel.state.gov/content/adoptionsabroad/en/about-us/statistics.html
https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubpdfs/s_costs.pdf (2011, but still fairly in line with other estimates)
https://travel.state.gov/content/adoptionsabroad/en.html
