I've been feeling a bit down lately when thinking about K and the adoption. This morning at the gym, for no particular reason I can identify, a wave of emotion came over me, and I found myself fighting back tears. Is she okay? Is she missing us? I have these moments of intense feelings every so often, and to recover I'll hold E extra tight, scroll through the well-worn album of pictures and videos we captured while in country, and just try to pause to breathe deeply, reflect, and pray over K. There are also a few songs I keep turning to, that, while a bit on the sad side, help center me in my thoughts about her. I've linked them here. They're great songs in general, and a good addition to your playlists!
Timshel, Mumford and Sons
But you are not alone in this
And you are not alone in this
As brothers we will stand and we'll hold your hand
Hold your hand
Rivers and Roads, The Head and the Heart
Rivers and roads
Rivers and roads
Rivers 'til I reach you
Rise Up, Andra Day (Thank you, Kate!)
I'll rise like the day
I'll rise up
I'll rise unafraid
I'll rise up
And I'll do it a thousand times again
And I'll rise up
High like the waves
I'll rise up
In spite of the ache
I'll rise up
And I'll do it a thousands times again
For you
For you
For you...
Where we're at, 4 months post-bonding trip
I800 Conditional Approval
Last month, we had a heart-stopping moment when we received a dread-pink-slip "RFE" (request for evidence) asking for a key document. This was something that we had understood was already turned in, and I panicked, sure that this would topple the whole tenuous process over. (PS: Just like you should not Google medical symptoms and self-diagnose, you should not Google RFE results. Lesson learned.) Fortunately, the orphanage was able to help quickly locate it, and the I800 hiccup was not prolonged too much. Not long after, our conditional approval of our I800 application arrived in the mail, and we were able to check one more box on this long list of steps. Essentially, this document is the US government affirmation that we will be allowed to deem K as our 'relative' and bring her into the country. This also kicks-off of the next steps in Haiti. After the I800, we began waiting for a Visa appointment to be scheduled at the US Embassy in Haiti. We received the invitation for this not long after, and those who we have granted power of attorney in Haiti were able to attend on our behalf.
Article 5
Just a couple of days later (2/28), we received confirmation that this meeting went as planned, and we received our Article 5! As we continue to impatiently wade through this sea of paperwork, seeing this official looking document with a stamp of approval and seal from the embassy in Port au Prince felt like such a win.
Article 5 is the document that informs IBESR in Haiti that the US government is satisfied with the documentation presented so far. When this is completed, K will be issued a US visa to enter the country and automatically become a US citizen.
Exiting IBESR, and Beyond
Now, we are waiting to receive an authorization letter that we have "exited IBESR"; i.e. the court process in Haiti may begin. This may take a few weeks, or a couple of months. We also understand that when we exit IBESR, we may not actually receive notification until some time after. Then, we proceed through a series of gates in the Haitian courts. Once we get into the system, the process may go "quickly" (a month or two?), but waiting in this virtual line to get into the system may take anywhere from 3-7 months more. When we start progressing through these court steps, we will share more of what we learn. In a rough estimate (like, close your eyes spin around twelve times throw a dart at a moving target estimate), we may get to travel back to Haiti to pick up K by the end of 2018. That is if all goes smoothly, of course (no political unrest, government shut-downs or shortages, power outages, lack of passport booklets, broken down motorbikes, dreaded RFE's, etc.).
In the meantime, we are hoping to go back for a visit this summer. We have waffled back and forth on this, to be honest, because we have some fears that this will be too hard on K. The children in the creche are quite accustomed to the routine of parents arriving for their bonding trip, leaving for a time, and then returning to pick them up. We worry that she will think we are coming back to bring her home, and be even more heart-broken when we leave (again) without her. On the other hand, it would give us that much more time connecting with her in her home-country, soaking in experiences of her upbringing, her nannies, and her friends, as well as continuing to connect with her. And, I am missing her so desperately right now, that if I could hop on a flight tomorrow, I would.
We had initially been told we could go back to visit any time after we completed our bonding trip. However, our agency shared a couple of months ago that there is apparently a rule that you cannot return to visit until you exit IBESR. It was not being enforced in the past, but, just our luck, they are starting to see it be enforced. We don't want to put anything at risk, so will wait (impatiently) for the exit letter.
Another piece of this complex puzzle is that one of the two directors of the creche, L, has fallen quite ill. L and his wife (the other director) are currently residing in the States, so that he can receive medical treatment, and we are deeply concerned for his health and their well-being. This creche, their technical school, and so many children's lives would not be the same without the incredibly hard work and love that they have poured out, and we pray that he may heal quickly and return home.
In the meantime, we are grateful to receive a small snippet about K each month--a brief update on her health and well-being, and a picture. In last month's picture, we can already see that she has grown. Her intense and demonstrative eyes were shining. She was not frowning (as she's been in all of her past pictures), but not quite smiling.
Oh, love, we miss you so.
Timshel, Mumford and Sons
But you are not alone in this
And you are not alone in this
As brothers we will stand and we'll hold your hand
Hold your hand
Rivers and Roads, The Head and the Heart
Rivers and roads
Rivers and roads
Rivers 'til I reach you
Rise Up, Andra Day (Thank you, Kate!)
I'll rise like the day
I'll rise up
I'll rise unafraid
I'll rise up
And I'll do it a thousand times again
And I'll rise up
High like the waves
I'll rise up
In spite of the ache
I'll rise up
And I'll do it a thousands times again
For you
For you
For you...
Where we're at, 4 months post-bonding trip
I800 Conditional Approval
Last month, we had a heart-stopping moment when we received a dread-pink-slip "RFE" (request for evidence) asking for a key document. This was something that we had understood was already turned in, and I panicked, sure that this would topple the whole tenuous process over. (PS: Just like you should not Google medical symptoms and self-diagnose, you should not Google RFE results. Lesson learned.) Fortunately, the orphanage was able to help quickly locate it, and the I800 hiccup was not prolonged too much. Not long after, our conditional approval of our I800 application arrived in the mail, and we were able to check one more box on this long list of steps. Essentially, this document is the US government affirmation that we will be allowed to deem K as our 'relative' and bring her into the country. This also kicks-off of the next steps in Haiti. After the I800, we began waiting for a Visa appointment to be scheduled at the US Embassy in Haiti. We received the invitation for this not long after, and those who we have granted power of attorney in Haiti were able to attend on our behalf.
Article 5
Just a couple of days later (2/28), we received confirmation that this meeting went as planned, and we received our Article 5! As we continue to impatiently wade through this sea of paperwork, seeing this official looking document with a stamp of approval and seal from the embassy in Port au Prince felt like such a win.
Article 5 is the document that informs IBESR in Haiti that the US government is satisfied with the documentation presented so far. When this is completed, K will be issued a US visa to enter the country and automatically become a US citizen.
Exiting IBESR, and Beyond
Now, we are waiting to receive an authorization letter that we have "exited IBESR"; i.e. the court process in Haiti may begin. This may take a few weeks, or a couple of months. We also understand that when we exit IBESR, we may not actually receive notification until some time after. Then, we proceed through a series of gates in the Haitian courts. Once we get into the system, the process may go "quickly" (a month or two?), but waiting in this virtual line to get into the system may take anywhere from 3-7 months more. When we start progressing through these court steps, we will share more of what we learn. In a rough estimate (like, close your eyes spin around twelve times throw a dart at a moving target estimate), we may get to travel back to Haiti to pick up K by the end of 2018. That is if all goes smoothly, of course (no political unrest, government shut-downs or shortages, power outages, lack of passport booklets, broken down motorbikes, dreaded RFE's, etc.).
In the meantime, we are hoping to go back for a visit this summer. We have waffled back and forth on this, to be honest, because we have some fears that this will be too hard on K. The children in the creche are quite accustomed to the routine of parents arriving for their bonding trip, leaving for a time, and then returning to pick them up. We worry that she will think we are coming back to bring her home, and be even more heart-broken when we leave (again) without her. On the other hand, it would give us that much more time connecting with her in her home-country, soaking in experiences of her upbringing, her nannies, and her friends, as well as continuing to connect with her. And, I am missing her so desperately right now, that if I could hop on a flight tomorrow, I would.
We had initially been told we could go back to visit any time after we completed our bonding trip. However, our agency shared a couple of months ago that there is apparently a rule that you cannot return to visit until you exit IBESR. It was not being enforced in the past, but, just our luck, they are starting to see it be enforced. We don't want to put anything at risk, so will wait (impatiently) for the exit letter.
Another piece of this complex puzzle is that one of the two directors of the creche, L, has fallen quite ill. L and his wife (the other director) are currently residing in the States, so that he can receive medical treatment, and we are deeply concerned for his health and their well-being. This creche, their technical school, and so many children's lives would not be the same without the incredibly hard work and love that they have poured out, and we pray that he may heal quickly and return home.
In the meantime, we are grateful to receive a small snippet about K each month--a brief update on her health and well-being, and a picture. In last month's picture, we can already see that she has grown. Her intense and demonstrative eyes were shining. She was not frowning (as she's been in all of her past pictures), but not quite smiling.
Oh, love, we miss you so.
