It's been nearly a month since we returned from our second trip to Haiti, and I'm still waking up at odd times in the middle of the night, briefly thinking I'm lying in the quiet dark of the creche guest house in Kenscoff. I should start by noting that we don't have any updates on our timeline to bring K home. This trip didn't provide any insight into that, and we are still waiting (anxiously, impatiently) to hear about when our documents will finish their march through the court system, and when we get in line for a Visa and Passport (meaning, almost homecoming time!)
This trip was very short (Thursday night-Monday afternoon, including travel), and not nearly enough time with our love, but was the amount of time we could both get away from work right now. Fortunately, we found that we were able to easily slide back into the daily routine we'd established on our bonding trip last winter.
When we arrived back on the grounds, we were met with a solemn-faced K. We typically receive one picture of her each month along with a brief "status report" of her health and developmental growth, which doesn't vary much month to month. Based on those pictures, we have been slowly watching her grow from afar, but it was wonderful to see in person how her little legs had grown taller, and her healthy glow remained. When we first peeked into the room she lives in, it was post-lunch potty time, and many of the the kids were running around squealing and giggling. We tried to observe K for a moment without her seeing us, but the nannies quickly spotted us and handed her off (which is so jarring). We do think she recognized us, but the grins we'd seen a moment before turned into a set jaw and inquisitive (and suspicious) glare, which remained for most of the rest of our time in-country. I was even surprised to find that bringing out snacks was not a go-to way to re-engaging with K, as it had been last year! (Smart decision, my little love!)
To be clear, we did not expect K to run to us with open arms and be immediately joyful to see us again. That's just not her personality (thus far)! It's also not fair to expect this from such a wee one, after so many months away, and in such an environment.
Over the few days we were there, we spent time with K and all of the kids, and were excited to get to reconnect with many of the kids we so cherished from our first trip. K warmed up to us for brief moments, mostly just before nap time and bedtime. But, we didn't have enough time to fall back into a solid routine with her. She was not interested in one-on-one time, playing and coloring up in the classroom, like we did daily on our bonding trip. It was disappointing, but we were grateful to soak up every moment with her and the other kids. We spent most of the days on the play field with the whole group, where we brought out the big legos, blocks, and building toys for the kids to play with and share. It was during this time that K would "allow" us to sit with her, play a bit with her, and be silly. She wasn't interested much in sitting in our laps, like she used to, but I can also very easily chalk this up to her being a 2.5 year old, striving for her independence. (That's my girl!) During play time, we were thrilled to see developmental growth: she was able to push together big legos on her own (and would also play with me by handing me the toys, asking me to put them together, and then taking them back and pulling them apart again); run around independently on the field; and even identify when she needed to go potty!
A funny side note; the most grins and giggles I saw from K were during potty time. The creche's potty-training and toilet time method is very interesting. Directly following breakfast and lunch, all of the kids in K's room were stripped of their pants and sat on a plastic potty chair. They sat here for nearly an hour each go before they were cleaned up and clothed again. Because this was such a long period of time, the kids get a little stir-crazy, and it's kind of hilarious. If you wandered into the room during this time, you were bound to see the kids hollering, tossing their shoes at each other, laughing their little heads off, and, eventually, running full-bore around the room, tiny naked butts abound. It was a smelly time of day. For some reason, K would open up a bit during potty time, and she'd participate in all of the loud and raucous silliness occurring. We would peek in to see her brilliant and slightly devious smile, because we didn't get to see that much during other times.
Overall, we didn't hear much from K during this trip. We did hear moments of her very tiny voice, but it seemed as though she was not interested in communicating verbally much. She clearly hears others and responds to questions and directions, but where many of the kids were babbling, teasing, and hollering, she was not apt to join in. I don't know that this is a concern, but for now, just an observation we noted.
Speaking of speaking: The weekend prior to our trip, Justin and I were finally able to participate in a Haitian Creole bootcamp, led by the inimitable Gloria. Anyone who is interested in learning Creole will come across a handful of reputable and thorough resources, Gloria being one of the big ones. We've been working (painfully slowly) through her curriculum since our first trip, but I will be the first to admit that learning another spoken language is very challenging for me. I also recognize that I've been allowing this statement to be an excuse, blocking my energy and motivation. Taking part in a three-day intensive bootcamp with Gloria and a handful of others was incredibly impactful and helpful in growing some of our language skills and understanding of the structure and application of Creole. Because of this, we felt just a tiny bit more comfortable in our communication on this trip, more equipped to express ourselves and connect with the nannies and children. The driver, director, and a couple of the nannies even recognized our (again, very minor) improvement, and it helped us to continue to build relationships. We have a long way to go, but being the foreigners in-country, we recognize that we are responsible for learning the language and culture of Haiti, as opposed to expecting that everyone meet us where we are and speak English. We feel a great sense of responsibility to ensure that K's heritage is present and recognized in our home and in her upbringing, and this is one of many important facets of that! (Plus, it's an amazing, rich language, and just really cool to learn.)
One of the more difficult parts of our trip was saying goodbye to one of the creche's founders and directors, L. As shared in a previous post, we knew that he was very ill, and seeking treatment in the States. Shortly after that post, we learned that the treatment was not successful, and L had returned home to Haiti, to live out his days in peace, surrounded by family, friends, and the beauty of his home country. We were not honestly sure if we would make it back to Haiti in time to see him again, and even if we did, if we would be able to spend any time with him. When we first arrived, we were able to speak with L on the phone, and he said he would plan for us to visit during our time at the creche. The driver, Roberto, let us know that L was "doing okay".
Likely due to L's illness, and G's sabbatical to care for him, we noticed a few small differences in our stay at the creche. Among these, our meals were slightly different, and the electricity was not as stable, so we experiences periods of time where we did not have electricity in our room.
Roberto returned on Monday to take us to the airport, and we were pleasantly surprised to hear that we would be able to stop and visit with L before proceeding to Port au Prince. L had clearly gone out of his way to rise from bed to see us, and despite his pain and discomfort, proceeded to act as the welcoming and kind host he has always been. We kept our visit short, and it is a memory I will always hold in my heart. After we returned to the States, we learned that L was no longer able to accept visitors, and he passed away shortly after, returning home to the Lord. I don't think I can truly express the gratitude I have for L and G, and for the many, many lives they have touched so deeply. We are so blessed to have known him.
I'll leave you on this lighter memory: On the first day of our trip, we saw enormous buckets of ripe yellow mangoes carried into the creche, and each day following, the kids were each given an entire mango to enjoy. It was a sticky mess, but I've never seen a happier bunch of kids, sitting in the sunshine, devouring the sweet fruit. (Hot tip: you may use this as a torture mechanism on Justin. He cannot handle sticky hands.) They were experts at cleaning out the fruit, from skin to pit, and this was one of many times that I took pause to reflect on the simple joys in life. We have so much to be grateful for, and so often feel burdened by the fray of work, raising E, daily routines, etc., and get caught up in the complaints and stress. But (and if you know me, you'll hear me say this often, semi-jokingly), boy are these FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS. To return to Haiti and the creche reminds me that there are much greater things in this world to care for, worry about, and direct our passion towards.
My challenge to you: Next time you find yourself annoyed by traffic, or when your Amazon Prime order arrives later than you wanted, or when you can't find your cell phone...just stop for a moment. Open your eyes and look around you. Reflect on all of the good you have. Express gratitude. Recognize the pain or needs of others. And, most importantly, give.
This trip was very short (Thursday night-Monday afternoon, including travel), and not nearly enough time with our love, but was the amount of time we could both get away from work right now. Fortunately, we found that we were able to easily slide back into the daily routine we'd established on our bonding trip last winter.
When we arrived back on the grounds, we were met with a solemn-faced K. We typically receive one picture of her each month along with a brief "status report" of her health and developmental growth, which doesn't vary much month to month. Based on those pictures, we have been slowly watching her grow from afar, but it was wonderful to see in person how her little legs had grown taller, and her healthy glow remained. When we first peeked into the room she lives in, it was post-lunch potty time, and many of the the kids were running around squealing and giggling. We tried to observe K for a moment without her seeing us, but the nannies quickly spotted us and handed her off (which is so jarring). We do think she recognized us, but the grins we'd seen a moment before turned into a set jaw and inquisitive (and suspicious) glare, which remained for most of the rest of our time in-country. I was even surprised to find that bringing out snacks was not a go-to way to re-engaging with K, as it had been last year! (Smart decision, my little love!)
To be clear, we did not expect K to run to us with open arms and be immediately joyful to see us again. That's just not her personality (thus far)! It's also not fair to expect this from such a wee one, after so many months away, and in such an environment.
Over the few days we were there, we spent time with K and all of the kids, and were excited to get to reconnect with many of the kids we so cherished from our first trip. K warmed up to us for brief moments, mostly just before nap time and bedtime. But, we didn't have enough time to fall back into a solid routine with her. She was not interested in one-on-one time, playing and coloring up in the classroom, like we did daily on our bonding trip. It was disappointing, but we were grateful to soak up every moment with her and the other kids. We spent most of the days on the play field with the whole group, where we brought out the big legos, blocks, and building toys for the kids to play with and share. It was during this time that K would "allow" us to sit with her, play a bit with her, and be silly. She wasn't interested much in sitting in our laps, like she used to, but I can also very easily chalk this up to her being a 2.5 year old, striving for her independence. (That's my girl!) During play time, we were thrilled to see developmental growth: she was able to push together big legos on her own (and would also play with me by handing me the toys, asking me to put them together, and then taking them back and pulling them apart again); run around independently on the field; and even identify when she needed to go potty!
A funny side note; the most grins and giggles I saw from K were during potty time. The creche's potty-training and toilet time method is very interesting. Directly following breakfast and lunch, all of the kids in K's room were stripped of their pants and sat on a plastic potty chair. They sat here for nearly an hour each go before they were cleaned up and clothed again. Because this was such a long period of time, the kids get a little stir-crazy, and it's kind of hilarious. If you wandered into the room during this time, you were bound to see the kids hollering, tossing their shoes at each other, laughing their little heads off, and, eventually, running full-bore around the room, tiny naked butts abound. It was a smelly time of day. For some reason, K would open up a bit during potty time, and she'd participate in all of the loud and raucous silliness occurring. We would peek in to see her brilliant and slightly devious smile, because we didn't get to see that much during other times.
Speaking of speaking: The weekend prior to our trip, Justin and I were finally able to participate in a Haitian Creole bootcamp, led by the inimitable Gloria. Anyone who is interested in learning Creole will come across a handful of reputable and thorough resources, Gloria being one of the big ones. We've been working (painfully slowly) through her curriculum since our first trip, but I will be the first to admit that learning another spoken language is very challenging for me. I also recognize that I've been allowing this statement to be an excuse, blocking my energy and motivation. Taking part in a three-day intensive bootcamp with Gloria and a handful of others was incredibly impactful and helpful in growing some of our language skills and understanding of the structure and application of Creole. Because of this, we felt just a tiny bit more comfortable in our communication on this trip, more equipped to express ourselves and connect with the nannies and children. The driver, director, and a couple of the nannies even recognized our (again, very minor) improvement, and it helped us to continue to build relationships. We have a long way to go, but being the foreigners in-country, we recognize that we are responsible for learning the language and culture of Haiti, as opposed to expecting that everyone meet us where we are and speak English. We feel a great sense of responsibility to ensure that K's heritage is present and recognized in our home and in her upbringing, and this is one of many important facets of that! (Plus, it's an amazing, rich language, and just really cool to learn.)
One of the more difficult parts of our trip was saying goodbye to one of the creche's founders and directors, L. As shared in a previous post, we knew that he was very ill, and seeking treatment in the States. Shortly after that post, we learned that the treatment was not successful, and L had returned home to Haiti, to live out his days in peace, surrounded by family, friends, and the beauty of his home country. We were not honestly sure if we would make it back to Haiti in time to see him again, and even if we did, if we would be able to spend any time with him. When we first arrived, we were able to speak with L on the phone, and he said he would plan for us to visit during our time at the creche. The driver, Roberto, let us know that L was "doing okay".
Likely due to L's illness, and G's sabbatical to care for him, we noticed a few small differences in our stay at the creche. Among these, our meals were slightly different, and the electricity was not as stable, so we experiences periods of time where we did not have electricity in our room.
Roberto returned on Monday to take us to the airport, and we were pleasantly surprised to hear that we would be able to stop and visit with L before proceeding to Port au Prince. L had clearly gone out of his way to rise from bed to see us, and despite his pain and discomfort, proceeded to act as the welcoming and kind host he has always been. We kept our visit short, and it is a memory I will always hold in my heart. After we returned to the States, we learned that L was no longer able to accept visitors, and he passed away shortly after, returning home to the Lord. I don't think I can truly express the gratitude I have for L and G, and for the many, many lives they have touched so deeply. We are so blessed to have known him.
I'll leave you on this lighter memory: On the first day of our trip, we saw enormous buckets of ripe yellow mangoes carried into the creche, and each day following, the kids were each given an entire mango to enjoy. It was a sticky mess, but I've never seen a happier bunch of kids, sitting in the sunshine, devouring the sweet fruit. (Hot tip: you may use this as a torture mechanism on Justin. He cannot handle sticky hands.) They were experts at cleaning out the fruit, from skin to pit, and this was one of many times that I took pause to reflect on the simple joys in life. We have so much to be grateful for, and so often feel burdened by the fray of work, raising E, daily routines, etc., and get caught up in the complaints and stress. But (and if you know me, you'll hear me say this often, semi-jokingly), boy are these FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS. To return to Haiti and the creche reminds me that there are much greater things in this world to care for, worry about, and direct our passion towards.
My challenge to you: Next time you find yourself annoyed by traffic, or when your Amazon Prime order arrives later than you wanted, or when you can't find your cell phone...just stop for a moment. Open your eyes and look around you. Reflect on all of the good you have. Express gratitude. Recognize the pain or needs of others. And, most importantly, give.
