Two Months Home

Somehow, over two months has already passed since Kattiana came home. In some moments, it seems like she has only been here for a short period. Other times, it feels as though she has been squealing and running circles around the backyard for years.

Our world is filled with dualities. Days move quickly and oh so slowly. The sweet moments are often balanced with challenges. It is love and joy and difficulty and sorrow. I have never felt more emotionally and mentally challenged, and it is an honor to parent these two girls.

I've been trying to periodically jot down notes and observations of this time of growth in an attempt to remember these fleeting moments, but my exhaustion often gets the better of my writing time. Here's what I've got, for now!

• Kattiana has grown nearly two inches in height, three pounds, and about one and a half shoe sizes in her short time home. This is incredible growth, and we can see her testing and progressing in her growing body daily. It's a joy to watch. She loves physical activities, particularly the swings, something that E has just now begun to enjoy. She loves running around the local gymnastics center: hanging on the rings, running down the trampoline lane, somersaulting like a boss, and leaping into the foam pit. It was a fortuitous discovery that the gym has an hour of very affordable free play time every week, and it's the best activity for her unending energy.
• Language is coming along, slowly. Her comprehension has greatly improved, particularly for our routine conversations and questions. Almost daily we'll notice that she's dropped a Kreyol word and replaced it with an English word or phrase. She goes through spurts of parroting (with a fondness for copying Eisley), and it's garbled, adorable, and encouraging.
  Favorite English phrases as of late: 
• I'LLBERIGHTBACK (Said loudly and in one rush of breath before she runs off to "do something" and then quickly returns, giggling.)
• I'm gunnee.... (Translates to "I'm gonna....", followed by what she wants to do/eat/have next.)
• Mama, I hungry. You hungry? (Yes, always.) 
• NO BAHKING DUBBY. (She polices the dogs for barking, regularly.)
• And then there's a litany of "almost" words that she's figuring out how to use correctly. It's adorable. Examples include: motocycle! (recycle); eggoort (yogurt); twode (meaning two: two, as in English for two, and de, as in Kreyol for two).

Things shes loves:

• Her sister. When I take Eisley to school in the morning, and then return home without her, Kattiana cries with sadness. When it's time for E to be picked up, she cheers for joy and hovers near the back door to wait for her to arrive. She follows her everywhere (much to Eisley's dismay, some days) and copies her every move and word. It's adorable and exhausting.
  
• The dogs. I am grateful at how quickly she's grown to adore Dublin and Poppy. She regularly looks for them around the house, asks for them if she cannot find them, loves to feed them and let them in and out of the back door, and will stop what she's doing to give them a quick pet before sprinting on to her next thing.

• Music. Turning on a song she loves will genuinely hold her interest (something rare these days, due to her boundless energy), and her shoulder shimmy and hand waving dance moves give me the giggles. She's figured out where the various speakers are in the house, and will point to the speakers and ask for music immediately each morning.
  
• Dolls and stuffies, the water table, kinetic sand, and playdough. She's shown mild interest in Legos and imaginative toys like the play kitchen, and is just starting to get into coloring and drawing a bit more (she moves too much to sit still and do this for any amount of time). Recently, we noticed that she's begun to play imaginatively with her dolls, feeding and talking to them. It is incredible to watch her brain begin to expand as she experiments and tries new things. We limit screen time for the girls to one or two shows on the weekends only, but she asks about Doc McStuffins and the Octonauts daily. She is also starting to enjoy books, and will regularly ask for a few, which delights me. "Mama... Brown Bear?" (Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See) "Mama, where Oops?" (Blue Hat, Green Hat) "Where Bumblebee?" (My First Book of Girl Power, a DC book, where her favorite superhero, Bumblebee is found) "Kattiana Hair?" (I Love My Hair).
  
• Figuring things out on her own. She likes to point to objects and name the colors, most times with mixed results. When she suddenly goes quiet, I sometimes find her working hard to put on her shoes by herself because she has decided she is definitely going to the park. The other day, I watched her drag her step stool from the bathroom into her room. I wasn't sure what she was doing, so paused to watch quietly in the hallway. She very carefully positioned the stool inside her bedroom door, reached up, and flipped the light switches on and off. She looked up at me and grinned, shining with pride.
  
• Being around others. Multiple times daily, she asks if we can go to the park, ride in the car, or go to the store (something we haven't done often with her, due to the high sensory input). When we're on a walk together, she loves to wave and say hello to people that pass by. She is also very interested in others' emotions, particularly when someone is upset or crying. When Eisley is upset, she'll sometimes have what I lovingly refer to as an empathy fit, where she expresses her concern (and need for attention) through big emotions. In public, when she hears a child crying, she'll abruptly stop what she's doing and look at me with worried eyes, pointing and "awwing" until I reassure her that their adult is with them, and they'll be okay.
  
  Other musings:
  
  
• Nap time has been an exercise in extreme patience. For a couple of weeks, we attempted to use her bedtime routine to get her to sleep mid-day, with mixed results. When that became increasingly fruitless, we began to try "quiet time" instead (reading on the bed, with a visual timer set), but it revved her up even more. Then, we pulled back entirely, and thought perhaps, sadly, she just isn't going to nap. Except, it is so apparent that her brain and body need rest. On the days she falls asleep in the carrier or the car, she is clearly refreshed and rejuvenated upon waking. This is still a journey for us, Some days wearing her in the carrier and swaying works, one day rocking in the chair sort of worked, but mostly, nothing is really working all of the time. Night time has improved, fortunately, and we have established a calm routine that typically gets her to bed within an hour. She is such a whirlwind, and she is often singing and rolling around, energy at full blast, and I can't imagine when she'll ever sleep. Then, I briefly look away, and when I look back, she's conked out.
  
  
• Sibling relationships are hard, ya'll. I mean, we "knew"  that the transition would be challenging for both Eisley and Kattiana, and don't get me wrong, the sweet moments are heart-bursting: jumping on the bed together, putting on their ballet shoes (Eisley: soft pink slippers, Kattiana: fuzzy R2D2 slippers) and dancing to the Nutcracker in the living room, swinging together at the park and hollering about who can touch the sky first. But on some days, these beautiful moments are nearly equally measured against difficult ones. In respect for their privacy, I won't share much more detail on here, but Justin and I are learning a lot about how to best help both of the girls through this time of transition.